About 'The Girl In The Panda Hat'



I had a nervous breakdown which happened after getting bullied in two different schools, so I left school early and there was approximately a year that I was at home, in my room, too anxious to go anywhere and in that time I wrote a lot of poems and short stories. I knew I'd do something with them one day, but it wasn't until the end of 2012 that I felt okay to read back through them all and sort them out so they made sense as a book. I mostly had poems, but I did use some of the stories I had written as well. I feel like this book is a portion of my life when I was in a very dark place, but releasing it now that I'm in a happy place is proof that even when you're as low as I was, it can get better. That's why I wanted to do this, to make sure people know that they're not alone in how they feel and that things can improve. It was really hard for me to pull myself together after the breakdown, but I wanted to fight.

Below is a little bit of information about what's in the book.

I split it into two parts, one for short stories and one for poetry. I wanted to include both parts because whilst it may seem unrelated, the thing that connects them all is how I was feeling when I wrote it. In fairness, it is mainly made up of poems, just so you know.

Here is the contents page:

Part One 

2          An Open Letter From A Misunderstood Teenager
3          Taken - A Captured Moment In Time
12        Dreams Again
18        Misfortunes and Miss. Mischance
29        Categorize and Departmentalized
37        Requited 


Part Two 

39        Your Mistake
40        A Moment In Time Had Our Names On It,
            But My Watch Broke And I'm Not Fixing It
41        Chaotic Silence
42        Promises
43        I Stand Corrected
44        Ruin
45        No Light At The End Of The Tunnel
46        Red Lipstick Girl
48        Popularity
49        Some Things Never Change
50        I'm Just Invisible Me
51        An Undecided Teen
53        I Wish That You Were Sorry
54        Green Difference
55        Broken Things
56        The Way I Used To Be
57        Broken Dreams
58        Don't Give Up Hope, Don't Let Me Go
59        I Wouldn't Be So Sure
60        My World
61        Just Go It Alone Now
62        Different Now
63        Lost In The Corners Of My Mind
65        Rumour
66        Replace My Broken Heart
67        I Swear It Was There Before
68        Don't Cry To Me
69        Not What I Bargained For
70        Confusion
71        What If It's Lost?
72        One Way Street
73        Your Fault Not Mine
74        It's Time
75        One Time Too Many
76        Nothing Lasts Forever
77        Maybe
78        Questioning Society
79        Still

80        Do It Now Or Never
81        Change
82        Perfect Image
83        Rejected
84        Drove Away
85        No Such Word As Forgive
86        Hazardous
87        Not Quite
88        Last Chance
89        New
90        Aspergers
91        Blindfolded
92        Not Perfect On Time
93        Apology
94        Blinding Truth
95        Everything Back
96        Memory Loss
97        If It Wasn't For Them
98        All Lies
99        Not Going To Happen Like That
100      I Won't Let Go
101      Don't Lie, I Know I'm Different
103      I Had To Learn To Live With Me
105      Never, Always, Anyway
106      Caught Up In-Between
108      Running Out
109      Atmosphere
110      Fake Happiness
112      That Feeling
113      All Talk
114      You Don't Know
116      Blue Fuzzy Clarity
117      Viewpoint



Chapter Excerpts

You can buy this book as a paperback here, as a PDF here or for the Kindle here.